Uh oh, my "online" is about to be deleted

Sometimes it’s fun to read through your email spam. Some poor clueless spammer sent me this gem today:

This is your official notification from eBay. Your online has expired.
If you want to continue using our service you have to renew your online.
If not, your online will be limited and deleted.

I am shaking in my boots … from laughter.

My adjectives are in danger. My nouns, however, are all just fine.

Hopefully, the same is true of you.