Now that’s how to tell somebody you’re busy

Got this from a buddy, who wrote it and sent it tongue-in-cheek to a manager who wanted him to do some unscheduled web development work.

Names and locations have been changed to protect the guilty (and me). Enjoy:

Hi Steve;

Jane mentioned there were a few issues with the McDonald site – we already knew about those, and we can fix them. Obviously the company who built it has no concept of quality control.

Could you clarify the issue with the picture? (We added a missing picture … are there other issues?)

However, before I can proceed with those changes, you should be aware that we have all agreed to follow a much more formal process for project development and change control for all issues affecting web sites, as discussed by the team.

To this, I need to bring a few quick things to your attention before I can proceed:

  1. You need to submit the request for change to the McDonald site. It should not take too long. You just need to specify an overview of the change, all required materials, expected result of changes, plan for quality control, contact persons, expected delivery date, and a grid of stakeholders that need signoff. You will need to use form PSA-TS-88-ChangeReqest.
  2. You will also need to fill out parts of form PSA-TS-88-SSI/43, which needs to get sent to our parent company for approval, to ensure the *changes* align with the parent company’s standards.
  3. Actually, before we proceed with changes, you need to fill out the ENTIRE form PSA-TS-88-SSI/42, since this project hasn’t been properly approved by our parent company regarding minimum style guides. As well, there’s sub-form PSA-TS-88-I/42, to ensure the project meets our internal sytle guides (But I can probobaly help you with that).
  4. We also should fill out a form PSA-HR-912/3, since we are posting personal information & photos of employees, we need their permission. This is formally required as per HR Director of our parent company, and our policy. We may have to wait until our new HR Directory is in place before we proceed.
  5. Since we are using a new combined web address, we will need to have signoff on a new registered address (this is to ensure we don’t lose track of all these). I don’t have a form for that yet, but you will need to wait until I do.
  6. It’s a bit awkward, but I don’t have any resources approved to allocate to maintanece of this site. I’ll need to have a detailed ROI on the change requests, so I can help allocate resources and priorities. I think it’s a form PSA-TS-431. I’ll check. Sorry about that.
  7. As well, I don’t really have any user requirements document for the site (vision, goals, usability review, etc), so it’s going to be a bit hard to determine the scope of the changes you really want. We’ll have to work on that as well. I’ll send you a template document for your team to fill out.
  8. We probably have some resources to do a full usability test on the site before it can go totally live. We’ve define a process that you can follow to submit to me, using form PSA-TS-33-GUI.
  9. Since the site was developed by a 3rd party vendor, we should really have a better understand of their liability for support & mainteance if things are delivered wrong, or not according to specifications. We should have lawyers draw up some formal expectations, using form PSA-TS-88/Vendor as a template.
  10. Since there are a lot of forms to fill out, to help facilitate management of these forms, we have created a generic ‘Form Request Form,’ from which you can request the other forms you need.


Hope to hear from you soon!


Now that’s how to stonewall requests!

[tags] funny, project management, web development, john koetsier [/tags]


Want weekly updates? Of course you do …