OK. I admit it. I’ve never posted something for sale on eBay.
I signed up – of course – about 5 years ago, maybe. I’m one of those 53,651 that signs up for everything and uses virtually nothing. Well, I do use Writely and Gmail and, hmm, a couple of other services.
But in any case, today I used one of those 5 free listings emails that eBay keeps sending me in an effort to suck me into the online auction vortex of mobile junk.
So I put some of my basement lint up for sale: Completely bogus Mega Memory system. You too can spend too much money (read, any money) on crap that doesn’t work.
As I state in my listing:
You want to get scammed. You love to pay money for stuff that doesn’t work. And you absolutely adore extra junk in your house.
Have I got a deal for you: Kevin Trudeau’s Mega Memory System!
It includes 16 tapes which you will never listen to, a workbook filled with pictures of geeky people from the 70s (but then again, everyone was geeky back then), a booklet of stupid tips like this one about how to remember the name Krista (think: crucifix with an apple!), and 2 bonus tapes on “how to remember everything in your past.” I have not listened to them so I don’t know if they involve hyposis mumbo-jumbo or not.
This set was bought by an extremely gullible younger version of me for about $80, too many years ago to recall. And now I want to dump it off on you.
What an opportunity! Made by a scammer! Featured lies in the infomercial! Still available today for more than $40! It’s a steal at any price (for the seller)!
OK. I’m too tired to make up more silly Kevin Trudeau jokes. So just buy it. It’ll help me clean up my basement, which is very important to me even if you don’t care.
And it’ll help me finance the purchase of at least one capacino. Which is kind of silly because I don’t even drink it, but it will help me look cool as I sit and look cool.
Buy! Buy! Buy!
(I got that last bit from a sales magazine. It’s called “call to action.” So act already. You have been called.)
I wonder if I’ll have any takers …[ update ]
I’ve added the even more bogus Advanced Mega Memory System. Even more B.S. crammed into the box! What a deal![tags] ebay, auction, kevin trudeau, mega memory, john koetsier [/tags]