“You present as an a$$hole.”
So, I need your advice. Recently at a tech conference … there’s a dude on stage talking about blockchain.
I turn to the woman next to me and said: he sounds like an a$$hole. She nodded vigorously, and answered that he acted like one too.
The question is: should I tell him?
I don’t know him from Adam. No business dealings. Never covered him in Forbes.
But I’m tempted to tell him. Not angrily. Not aggressively. Just calmly, even compassionately.
His tone, his loud voice, his habit of angling his head up and looking down at a fellow panelist, his lack of attention when the conversation wasn’t on him, his massive manspreading … everything about him screamed: “I am an a$$hole.”
But he probably doesn’t realize that. And he may not actually be a jerk. And he might be wondering why certain relationships haven’t worked, or certain business deals haven’t happened, or some people have left his team.
Should I try to tell him?
It could be good for him — very good for him — long term. And, it’s probably a public service. But, it’s risky, and could backfire.