‘Apple Watch divorce’ is chapter 37 of Thought Grenades from Tomorrow, a book I’m writing about technology, innovation, and people … from the perspective of the future. Subscribe to my newsletter to keep in touch and get notified when the book publishes.
August 11, 2024. Boston, MA
Apple’s latest smartwatch is taking the blame for divorce proceedings currently underway in Boston Municipal Court. But while the Apple Watch is taking the heat, the actual challenge is what the husband was doing with it.
“We could never have sex spontaneously,” complained Susan Black, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Franklin Black. “Every time he needed to get his Apple Watch on first, and then turn on a workout to record his calorie burn.”
When she asked him to stop the practice, Mr. Black insisted. The two argued and proved unable to resolve the dispute amicably. Susan had mentioned that Apple’s AI-powered “you seem to be working out” notifications would capture his exertion automatically, but Franklin was not confident in the technology’s ability to accurately determine start and stop times.
Apple has always had workouts like walking or ice hockey or weightlifting as part of its Apple Health experience on an Apple Watch. But the company’s latest Apple Watch added a workout labeled “Sex” for the first time. And some customers are extremely passionate about keeping track of their energy expenditure. More passionate, perhaps, than their partners.
“I can’t wear it all night,” explained Franklin Black. “I like to put it on in the morning before we get frisky, but she didn’t want to wait.”
“I can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect my need to be healthy and fit,” he added.
District court justice Solomon Johnson awarded a no-contest annulment, given the couple had been married for only three weeks.
Apple declined to comment.
Again, “Apple Watch Divorce” is a chapter of Thought Grenades from Tomorrow, a book I’m writing about technology, innovation, and people … from the perspective of the future. Subscribe to my newsletter to keep in touch and get notified when the book publishes.